I previously mentioned in my Super Bowl Highlights post that if I got a chance to see Transformers: Age of Extinction I would see it. And boy do I hate keeping my word.
Transformers: Age of Extinction takes place a few years after the events of the last film. Autobots and Decepticons alike are being hunted down because humans now view them as bad and unsafe. Enter Cade Yeager, played by Marky Mark without the Funky Bunch. He's an inventor from Texas who bought a broken truck that he later discovers is Optimus Prime. They both decide to work together and reunite the Autobots to take down a corrupt corporation trying to build their own Transformer army.
I did mention that I was rather intrigued by this film though. I wouldn't dare call it excited though. To me, it seemed like a step in the right direction by ditching the original cast and getting a brand new one. Casting Mark Wahlberg as the lead sure is a step up from Shia Labeouf. Not to mention the impressive additions of Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammer to the cast. But even the best actors can be reduced to mere caricatures of cliches and tropes with the wrong screenwriting. And the script hasn't differentiated from the first three films because this film is nothing new.
Mark Wahlberg is our main protagonist and he is easily the best part of this entire film. He's a very likable protagonist, which is hard to come by in a Michael Bay movie. You really like the guy because he just wants his daughter to be safe. Parental figures have been put in a really bad light in the first three Transformers films so it is nice to see one you can actually get behind. And during the battle sequences he's always there to help and actually fight, which is something you never saw Shia Labeouf do.
The rest of our heroes, his daughter and her boyfriend, on the other hand are simply awful. They are both completely unlikable and annoying. She constantly disobeys her father and every time he rescues her she always thanks and hugs her boyfriend who does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! And I really do mean absolutely nothing. He doesn't add anything to the plot, he's not funny and he sure as heck isn't a good actor! The only thing he does is surrender, run away and smart of to Mark Wahlberg's character. Yeah, this guy is dating his daughter and he's back talking to her father. Hey genius! That's not how you make a good first impression! Ugh. I feel bad for Mark Wahlberg for having to put up with these two idiots.
As with any generic Transformers movie you have to throw in a government conspiracy with your typical government bad guys. These roles are occupied by Kelsey Grammer and Stanley Tucci. Kelsey Grammer commands a great on screen premise in big, dramatic villain roles. But here he's just forgettable. His performance isn't bad really. I mean it's probably second best only to Mark Walhberg's. Thankfully his dialogue doesn't consist of a bunch of cringe-worthy, tasteless "jokes". Leave that to Stanley Tucci's character! Stanley Tucci is one of those actors that you can almost count on to be great in everything he does. And he really tries. Boy does he try. I feel that Michael Bay was trying to turn his character into the next John Tuturro. Every time he says a stupid "joke" you can just see in his eyes that deep down it's killing him on the inside. Sometimes they got a chuckle out of me, but most of the time I just felt bad for the guy.
Some of the Autobots were alright. John Goodman and Ken Wantanabe lend their voices to two Autobots and they have some fun in their roles. You can tell that Goodman channeled his inner Walter Sobchak for this film. He of all characters probably had the most laughs. That being said, I still didn't care about any of them.
I never got to know any of them. Their history or their different personalities. So if I'm watching a movie called Transformers, how do you expect me to care about the Transformers if there's nothing for me to go off of?! If someone asked me when I walked out of the movie, "Who was your favorite Transformer?" I would probably respond with something like "The green one, I guess." And that's the thing is that they rarely ever use their names! The only way I could tell them apart was by what they looked like and their voices. And that is such a shallow, one-dimmensional way to describe a character. Let me try describing the Transformers actually:
- Optimus Prime - Blue and red with a sword and shield and has a really cool, commanding voice.
- Bumblebee - Yellow.............. and that's it really. (There is honestly nothing interesting about this one)
- Hound - Brownish with grenades and gatling guns and is voiced by John Goodman so that's awesome.
- Crosshairs - Green with guns (Not much t this guy either)
- Drift - Blue, samurai-like appearance with giant katana sword
Oh yeah and they all have to be inconspicuous so let's make them all look like multi-million dollar cars. Really? THAT is keeping you from being detected? Seriously? I don't get that. If you really wanted to blend in then why don't all the autobots look like Gremlins? You know I would love to see one that looks like a Volkswagen Thing.
The only real redeemable element this film has over the others is the addition of the Dinobots. These guys were really cool to see on screen. I loved the T-rex bot and the Triceratops bot and the ones that I couldn't tell what they were. (I'm pretty sure one was a Stegosaurus) I'm a big Jurassic Park/Land Before Time fan and I kind of loved seeing these guys take up the screen. Even if it was only during the final battle. That's the real problem with this film! The Dinobots were criminally underused!
When it comes to Michael Bay's direction.... well there is none. If you've seen a lot of Michael Bay movies (or even only a few) then you should expect to see every Michael Bay-ism possible. What are some of his cliches you might ask? Well here are just a few:
- Low angle shots of people getting out of cars.
- Having the camera focus in on the legs of the female protagonist/any female on screen.
- Sunset backgrounds.
- Spinning cinematography.
- Hyperactive editing.
- Explosions.
- Explosions in slow-motion.
- Explosions that look like fireworks.
- Explosions that look like fireworks in slow-motion.
- Explosions that look like sparklers.
- Explosions that look like sparklers in slow motion.
- Explosions that look like fireworks and sparklers at the same time.
- Explosions that look like fireworks and sparklers at the same time in slow-motion.
- Theatrical film runtime of nearly three hours long.
In all seriousness, this film has no style. There isn't any passion or joy in this filmmaking. It's just a bunch of loud special effects and sounds trying to compete at which one can be more annoying. Michael Bay doesn't deserve any of the credit. It's the people at Industrial Light and Magic that deserve the praise because without their terrific special effects, this movie would be absolutely nothing.
Final Report: There's a great quote that George Lucas once said;
"Special effects are a means to tell a story. A special effect without a story would be pretty boring."
Transformers: Age of Extinction has no story or character and masks it with an overabundance of blaring special effects. And what George Lucas said rings true because this film after a while, was pretty boring.